To: The Driver Of The White Pickup…

Dearest Driver of the White Pickup:

Every week, Monday through Friday, at 7:30am, we are both undoubtedly on our way to work or whatever commitments we have in the morning. More often than not, we probably take  the same beginning route – down the ghastly congested and construction ridden street of Brookhurst. Today’s route, like every other days route, was slow and meandering, and something we commuters have learned to deal with.

So, I was a bit surprised when your surly ass started tailgating me from Warner to McFadden. We all deal with traffic. It is part of life. However there is not excuse to tailgate someone who is a) going the speed limit (so relax) and b) has 1,000 or so cars in front of her. Where did you want me to go? And if the answer to that is NOWHERE, then where were you going to go?

I especially got a kick out of our little ordeal when you saw your opening, sped up, nearly took off my side view mirror, and then cut me off. Your reckless driving skills astounded me. What was even better was that you had to come to a screeching halt before you hit the guy in front of you who was stopped at the red light. I really hope, by cutting me off, that you gained the half a second you needed. That half a second makes all the difference when traveling to a destination (dripping in UTTER sarcasm). Oh, and thanks for making eye contact with me in your side view mirror and laughing. Classy and considerate – two qualities you undoubtedly possess (again with the sarcasm).

Well, Mr. White Pickup, I hope you made it to your destination on time – because I did. Obviously, you were in so much more of a hurry than any of us could have anticipated and I am truly sorry for getting in your way (again, SARCASM).

Sincerely,

Me.